I’ve been stuck in a creative rut. For months. Many months. I have been sifting through my way of living, my history of poor choices, and working on being a “better” person. To love my self. To eradicate the self sabotaging tendencies and internal criticism. Catch up with my inner child, find out where along the way she picked up the all baggage she carries with her. And of course working on being vulnerable, honest, present, ( The list goes on) I am working… but my self-help occupation hasn’t been helpful in my “work” … my creative drive… although making Art is a therapy all it’s own. I felt like I had so much to say, but didn’t know how to express it. How to communicate the feelings of change, pain, insecurities, loneliness. How to connect with other people, about this stage in my life, through something visual, tangible…… I just didn’t know where to start. So I didn’t.
This is where the water melons came from. In one of those moments of needing to create something, say something… I sat down, with some paint and paper and painted the first thing that came into my head. Then I painted it again, and again, over and over, a meditation, a rhythm, an addictive gesture. Something so simple, child like, and FUN. I would wake up in the morning and the first thing I would think about was painting Water Melons. Just as simply as that I felt engaged in creative thoughts again. Now I am back to painting everyday, silly quirky things (Love birds, and Cockatiels, Whales, Cats, and Hot sauces ) Nothing new, or groundbreaking, but I am forming a habit, having a practice. Water Melons were my gate-way drug to being back in the swing of it. I know that eventually I’ll be ready to make work that represents some of the harder feelings I’ve been going through. That how I will express and share will come to me…. I am just not there yet… and that’s ok too.
In the meantime I’ll oblige the child, and make art that feels fun. Because fun is important too, right gang??